Thursday, December 10, 2009

Recruits Rockin Rocky Top

"Rebuilding a program ain't easy," and still Lane Kiffin does what he can to recreate the glory days. Undoubtedly you have hear the recent reports stating that Lane Kiffin and the University of Tennessee might have given recruits a little somethin somethin extra on the visit. Specifically, hookers.

Now understand, nobody thinks that Dolla Bill Lane is the only coach to guarantee recruits the all-important combination of playing time and play time, but now everyone knows for sure that he is the best wing man in the nation.

That's exactly what's so genius about the whole scandal, you have to let people know what you're offering to get them excited. After the story broke every recruit in the nation thought the exact same thing: "Les Miles might leave a sorority girl in the hotel room, but Lane Kiffin will decorate the room with black lights, will bring the entire sorority house over and even make the punch."

Immediately after the allegations first surfaced a wide variety of explanations were offered to defend the University's activities. "The recruits are going to play cover two with the ladies of the night anyways, Suede Silk Kiffin just makes sure they do it in a safe, disease free environment."

But there are undoubtedly downsides to White Chocolate L-Kif's strategy. Most players find calling the head coach "daddy" a little strange, and being threatened with a backhand after a false start often has the offensive linemen a little shaken up. Whenever coaches call for the Slot Receivers or Tight ends nobody is quite sure if they mean the players or the hookers. However, Johnathon Crompton has tweeted that his confidence drasticly increased since becoming the bottom bitch.

Overall, the bottom line is that Tennessee currently has the sixth rated recruiting class in the nation, which is somehow still just fourth in the SEC. They already have six top-150 recruits, stars at the skill positions and an OT named "Jose Jose." Let the nation know that one of college football's oldest powerhouses is back, thanks mainly to the worlds oldest profession.

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