Signing Day

Welcome to college football signing day! Since I have no idea who the actual recruits are, and if I did know who they are I would hate them for having that much fame coming out high school. Today we will highlight some men who never got their due love by making player profiles in NCAA 2005 Football and simulating the recruiting process:

Jameson Otto, #14 CB. A lockdown corner with speed that can match any other defensive back in the nation. Questions about his ability to come down with interceptions and be a game changing player have been raised due to his small hand size.
Signing Status: Signed with Notre Dame his sophomore year of high school.

Michael “Motha Fuckin B-Rice” Wersonske, #2 OT. As athletic of a big man as we have seen, but early problems in the recruiting season were felt across the nation when Michael demanded to be recruited as a tight end. Since then his prospect status has dropped from #2 OT to #145 TE. Questions about work ethic and spiking the Gatorade have further complicated the issue.
Signing Status: De-committed from Texas; currently considering Louisiana Lafayette, New Mexico State and Syracuse.

Dylan Daniel, #14 WR. A big, strong receiver that can come down with jump balls over many of the smaller corners. An excellent facet of Daniel’s game is blocking down field, he often takes on Linebackers and can become a huge bonus in his team’s running game. This makes him a perfect fit for the option run game of West Virginia. Downsides include forgetting most of his routes.
Signing Status: Committed to West Virginia because of the stank ass weed the state produces.

Daniel Hagleberg, SS #1. Daniel plays like a mad man, averaging three personal fouls per game this strong safety is often found at the line of scrimmage screaming unintelligibly at the other teams quarterback.
His speed and ferocity have made him the overall top recruit in the nation. After a lengthy discussion with the coaching and lawyer staff at Miami “Danimal” made a verbal commitment and has stuck with it. Other skills include fitting team mates with better shoes for the perfect fit during bus and plane rides.
Signing Status: Miami.

Huhrod Lindenmuth, C #421. Lindenmuth started the recruiting season near the top of ESPN top 150 and as the best center on the board until a workout session with Texas A&M revealed that he lied about his weight room numbers and had never actually worked out.
Signing Status: North East South Dakota State.

Mike Miller, ATH #1. High School highlight films of Miller look like a compilation tape of Randy Moss, Adrian Peterson, Reggie Bush, Vince Young and Doug Flutie rolled into one love child. Although there have already been seven NCAA recruiting violations involving Miller the top programs in the nation are still lining up at his door. This recruiting season Mike set a NCAA record for having to give back five Lamborghinis.
Signing Status: Considering Florida, Arizona, USC, Texas, LSU, Miami, Oregon, Auburn, Michigan, Missouri, Boston College, Hawaii, Notre Dame, Oklahoma, Alabama, Texas Tech, Nebraska, Penn State, North Carolina, Virginia Tech, West Virginia, Mississippi State, Colorado, Texas A&M, Marshall, East Carolina, Oklahoma State, Boise State, UCLA, BYU, Florida State, California, Georgia Tech, Oregon State, Northwestern, Kansas, Kansas State, Maryland, Wake Forest, Rutgers, Cincinnati, Iowa, Colorado State, Air Force, Georgia, USF, Baylor, Vanderbilt, Texas A&M, Tulsa, North Carolina State, Washington State, Washington, Tennessee, Ole Miss, UCF, Fresno State, Utah, Clemson, South Carolina, Virginia, Duke, Army, Navy, Southern Miss, Troy, Buffalo, Iowa State, Minnesota, Louisville, Memphis, Arizona State, Colorado State, Arkansas, Kentucky, Rice, Houston, North Texas, Miami of Ohio, UTEP and Appalachian State.

Evan Hoface, WR #12. Perhaps the top possession receiver coming out of high school this year, Evan reminds coaches and scouts of a Wes Welker type player. Evan is in the unique position of traveling anywhere in the nation because of the flexibility offered by his internet girlfriend. Celebrating this fact Evan is looking at the legendary “Four Corners” of the college football world.
Signing Status: Currently Considering Washington, USC, Miami and Buffalo.

Matt Hanson, C #2. Benefiting from Lindenmuth controversy, Hanson has moved up the scouting boards. His straight forward blocking mentality and skills as a long snapper and shotgun snapper have attracted the nation’s best spread offense teams. Hanson is also the top rated shit talker in the nation, and enjoys making defensive tackles cry,
Signing Status: Considering Texas, Oklahoma, Texas Tech, Oklahoma State, Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska.