Cash For Clunkers to Blame for OU loss?

"We have been so busy filling out the government paperwork that even the (Oklahoma Sooner's) football players actually had to come in and work overtime." The assistant manager of sales from Big Red Sports in Norman, Oklahoma asked to rename nameless, but was able to shed some light on the puzzling situation of the OU football team.

"After Rhett Bomar and J.D. Quinn were kicked off the team uppper management decided to make players work for the $18,000/month paychecks. Up until the Economic Recovery Plan the players were able to fill up their time with mindless tasks and still look over the playbooks between helping customers. But lately they have had to put practice in the background as our auto sales have absolutley overwhelmed us."

New reports now claim that Jermaine Greshman injured his knee when he slipped in the break room on a puddle of coffee cream. Sam Bradford had also reported a sore shoulder before the BYU game and claimed it was due to the hours upon hours of filling out government forms.

It is widely believed among full time emplyees of Big Red Sports Auto Sales that Coach Stoops would call, using a different alias each time, and demand that the players be released so the team could practice stopping statue of liberty 2-point conversions attempts.

With or without Bradford on the field the OU offense was sluggish and hardly showcased last years prowless. But, now that car sales have leveled out, the big qustion is whether or not OU's offense will be able to recover and get back on track in time to salvage the 2009 season.

All is not lost in Norman, with the BCS's emphasis on down-the-stretch football perhaps the Sooners still have a chance to make a BCS bowl, or even the National Championship game. It is important to realize that this team has a very real chance to take the next step and achieve what recent teams have failed to do.

Losing five consecutive BCS bowls (LSU, USC, Boise St., West Virginia and Florida) coupled with dropping three of the last four Red River Shootouts/Rivalries against archrival Texas have decreased Stoop's nickname from "Big Game Bob" to "Medium Game Bob" to "Iowa State game Bob."

In the future fans can expect Oklahoma to stop scheduling BCS buster teams such as TCU and BYU as the season opener in the future, and to use a less strenuous profession to funnel money from boosters to players.